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September 19, 2005


Yay! the first entree of my Poo blog is here. So here is an introduction. I was reading "cleaning your clutter with feng shui" by karen kingston a few months ago and she had a chapter about cleaning internal body clutter. The general idea is that after years of eating food that is high in perservatives and artificial ingredients, that your bowels get all clogged up with 'phlegm' that interferes with nutrient ingestion and general health. The solution: Dr Christopher's lower bowel formula consisting of herbs that'll clean you out good!

So after considering it for a month or so, reading various graphic testamonials, and encouragement from my s.o. ("I wanna poop worms!), I decided to give it a try. But I would like to say "thanks" to all my friends who offered to stick a hose up my ass for free.

Posted by julia at 3:06 PM

Day 0

So I ordered the pills and they arrived on a Friday. At the last moment, the light of my life decides to chicken out on taking the pills with me. He opts to 'wait and see'. So its me, alone, taking some herbal concoction that the FDA doesn't approve of. I decide to wait until Saturday to start, just in case I have some bad reactions and wind up crapping in my pants.

Posted by julia at 3:18 PM

Days 1 - 2 - 3

Day 1 - The first day! I take some pills when I wake up (2 pills, 3 times a day). Within 10 minutes, I have to go. Everying goes fine, poop looks pretty normal, a little colorful on the brown range of the spectrum. I'm disappointed. I was hoping for worms or pieces of rubber or a spare tire.. oh well.. Its the only time I poop all day so not much to report.

Day 2 - Again, I have to poop in the morning. Everything is still looking pretty normal but it seems I only get to poop once a day. very weird.

Day 3 - Finally, caught up with the present. I remembered that I kept joking about the kind of content worthy of blogs. Yay - blogging. Today is a banner day. I've gotten to poop 3 times... though I suspect this may have to do with the amount of drinking I did yesterday.

Finally something interesting on the poop-dar. There appears to be some kind of weird cottony-filmy looking attachment to my deposit. Only about 1 1/2 inches long. Is this the mysterious bowel-phlegm???

Posted by julia at 3:21 PM

September 20, 2005

Day 4

its back to one crap per day. but I must admit, i've never spent this much time looking into a toilet before. Today's contestant was colorful and mighty. and i just don't think i can go on to describe much more than that.

time for a poo haiku:

tiny bowels why
refuse to share your secrets
gimme a worm, please!

I think I may be eating less because I don't feel as hungry as I usually do. This was one of the reported side-effects, but it could also be do to all the attention I'm focusing on it.


ooh looks like i blogged too soon!
and this time, I got more of that stuff that I will call bowel phlegm (BP). This is mildly exciting. My poo is even floating, like happy poo is supposed too! According to the literature I've read, food should pass through your system at a pretty fast clip (within 30 hours of consumption, i think). Anything longer than that means its just decomposing in your system and by the time it gets out its dark and compacted, so it sinks. But happy poo is light colored and floats!

yay!! i have achieved floating poo!

Posted by julia at 3:08 PM

September 26, 2005

Day 5 -> 10

ok.. worm pooping pills give you gas. I have discussed the issue with my fellow test guinea pig, and we have concurred. Upset tummies are the order of the day (though, I did try blaming all the coors lite for a while). On the up side, I have been eating less.

Also, I think I have to give up on the worms. Every once in a while, I've seen something in the bowl that I can't identify. However, I think this is more of a warning to watch what you eat.

So only four more days left in this bowel experiment. Here are my conclusions thus far:

1 - my pooch has been smaller due to increased processing.
2 - I feel a little more energetic. Probably due to taking more of an interest in myself, but I'd like to blame the pills
3 - I don't believe in bowel phlegm or worms. ohh the sad disillusionment!

Posted by julia at 10:25 AM

September 28, 2005

transition days 1 & 2

ok, i stopped taking the pills. Its taken about a day and a half for all the really noticeable effects to disappear (gas, floating poo, etc..) Cleansing theory actually recommends a month for your first time and then one week every year after, but I don't think I have the constitution to do a month. Besides, now I can prepare for the next stage of my plan: No poop at all!

Which brings me to the main reason I did this. I am going to try a three day fast where all I will consume will be organic fruit juices and maybe some olive oil. The purpose of the bowel cleansing is to make sure that once I start fasting, there isn't any really really bad stuff built up in my system which will then get processed since there isn't going to be anything else to deal with (and may possibly cause some pain).

So come Monday, it will be a vacation for my innards!

Posted by julia at 1:29 PM